


half vodka, none wiser

by orphan_account



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Confessional, House Party, M/M, Underage Drinking, jeno is a whipped dumbass
Language: English
Status: In-Progress
Published: 2018-08-17
Updated: 2018-08-17
Packaged: 2019-06-28 16:13:19
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 5,228
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15710739
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/orphan_account/pseuds/orphan_account
Summary: Jeno thinks he's good at managing his feelings and his crush on Jaemin. Then alcohol and Donghyuck get involved.(Alternatively, did you know the sangria in Renjun's house party was made with most likely contraband 56% alcohol content vodka from Ukraine?)





	half vodka, none wiser

**Author's Note:**

  * For [xxWinterRose](https://archiveofourown.org/users/xxWinterRose/gifts).



> Happy NCT summer! Always remember to read the dates of when your work is due kiddos, and make sure to save your fics on google drive and double read them again. Massive apologies to the moderators and quite literally everyone, and pls enjoy 5k words of Jeno being a panic gay.

  
If Jeno’s being honest- and he always is- he doesn’t get the point of underage drinking. What’s the point of drinking now when you could drink without repercussions in just two or three years? Saying that is enough to get eyerolls from most of his peers and the like, but Jeno is a rock when it comes to his beliefs. He’s not the type to get peer pressured into doing things, and is wholeheartedly confident in choices. Parents and teachers alike love him for that, but his classmates have taken to calling him “Good boy Jeno”. First out of spite but later- after he’s saved their asses a countless number of times- out of recognition.

  
One of his many beliefs, for example, is the fact that he doesn’t pin over people.

 

But he still ends up in Renjun’s house party on a hot spring evening two days before graduation anyways, sangria in hand (because beer is disgusting and don’t even get him started on vodka) all while crushing over Jaemin.

“Hey. When do you think you’re gonna stop checking Jaemin out and help me find Mark so I can make out with him?”

There’s the dull throb of the music that’s replaced by the nasal accent of Donghyuck’s voice next to him. Jeno’s head pounds, probably because this is his first real cup of alcohol (blame Renjun, he’s the one who handed it to him, and Jaemin via proxy for begging him to come) so he leans back in the sofa while Donghyuck takes the opportunity to ease himself into his lap. In hindsight, the fact that he was peer pressured into coming to a party and drinking alcohol underaged should’ve been a warning sign.

Donghyuck must be extremely drunk, Jeno thinks. His limbs sprawl out all over Jeno in their usual octopus manner, but he’s more pliable and incoherent when drunk. Jeno shoves him out of his lap, because Donghyuck is one heavy son of a bitch.

Donghyuck’s head lolls onto the couch next to him. 

“You’re pathetic.” Donghyuck says, turning to look at him.

Jeno tries to swat his lap, but he’s quickly distracted by the sight of Jaemin with his honey dyed hair and blinding smiles. Like a moth to the flame, Jaemin draws everyone around him as he dances with a girl and chats with a senior from the school’s basketball team. The red solo cup in his hand sways as someone else crashes into him, but he laughs it off and throws them his winning smile.  
  
Jaemin had forced him to come, begged for his best friend to keep him company at Renjun’s (technically his older brother Winwin’s) house party. Jeno knows it’s just an excuse, because Jaemin is probably the most popular member of their batch even after skipping a year with them. He’s always surrounded by people. He doesn’t need Jeno.

  
Jeno vaguely feels his heart erupt into a thousand and one butterflies. It’s pathetic- he’s pathetic. No one man should have all this power over Jeno, but Jaemin exists and now he’s going to die because of it. Jeno _still_ can’t stop staring at him.

The illusion is shattered when Donghyuck hits him back.

But Jaemin doesn’t flicker- he isn’t a mirage, or a dream. He’s real, and he’s waving at the both of them having noticed Donghyuck next to him. Jeno feels his stomach go weak and desperately wants to slap himself for being, in Donghyuck’s words, a big hopeless dumbass with an even bigger crush on Jaemin. No uncertainty there. He manages a weak wave back and Jaemin flashes a wide smile that sends the butterflies down to his knees.  
  
“See? Pathetic.” Donghyuck scoffs, taking Jeno’s lovestruck face in.

“Stop, don’t insult me when your response to having a big fat crush on Mark is to _fight with him_.” He says while pushing Donghyuck fully off his lap. Donghyuck bristles next to him.

“First of all, _fuck you_.” The amount of vitriol in Donghyuck’s tone is staggering.

Jeno throws back his best shit eating grin he can manage. “It’s true though.”  
  
He knows he’s hit a nerve when Donghyuck sulkily turns away. Mark is a touchy subject for him, has been since the start of junior year. Jeno knows they probably had a fight about something, and if he were to guess- probably about Mark going to college and leaving Donghyuck behind, but like always, Mark and Donghyuck resolve it after a week or two. Speaking of Mark, he’s a year above them and like, way too cool for any of them but he’s Donghyuck’s neighbor and best friend (and now crush) so when they all got to high school, naturally Donghyuck, Jeno, Jaemin, and Renjun absorbed him in.

Donghyuck is absolutely whipped for him even if he won’t admit it. Like Donghyuck, Jeno too is completely and absolutely whipped for Jaemin.

Up until the start of high school, Jeno was straight. Like, hole-in-one, ruler straight. Donghyuck was the first one to point out that there was no possibility the way Jeno looked at Jaemin was straight. Three years later and a lot of identity crises on the way, Jeno’s more or less come to terms with the fact that he likes boys, Jaemin in particular.  
  
Come to think of it, most of Jeno’s problems start with Donghyuck.

“Why don’t you just make out with Mark anyways? Come on, I’ve seen the way he looks at you too.” Jeno suggests, thinking of the many parallels between the both of them. The fact that he compared himself to Donghyuck is a new low for the both of them. 

Donghyuck scoffs, an underlying bitterness in his voice.

 “ _Why don’t you make out with Jaemin then?”_  Donghyuck responds in a mocking tone, “He’s graduating this year, Jeno, in case you forgot. Even if Mark wasn’t straight and liked me back too, he wouldn’t wanna date a senior while he’s off having fun with his friends in college.” And with that, Donghyuck slumps back into the couch with a defeated sigh. 

The prime opportunity to tease Donghyuck presents itself in his words, and poor, perennially oppressed (read: the butt of Donghyuck’s insults and jokes) Jeno definitely takes it.  
  
“Is that it? Are you just jealous?” He says with another shit eating grin, for which Donghyuck kicks him in the shin. There’s definitely going to be a bruise later, Jeno can’t wait to use it against him.

“You know what, fine. Graduation is in two days anyways,” Donghyuck suddenly sits up, and gets a look on his face Jeno’s come to associate with intense plotting. Jeno can visibly see all the fucks Donghyuck had to give fly out of his face, and he isn’t excited for whatever stupid proposal or bet that’ll come out of Donghyuck’s mouth. 

“First one to kiss the other person before the end of the party walks away with $200, unless the loser confesses the other person first.”

Jeno sputters in disbelief. It’s the worst idea he’s ever heard.  
  
“ _No_ , Donghyuck, there’s no way. Look, don’t use me an easy excuse to make out with Mark. In case you forgot, Jaemin is _still_ graduating with us this year.” He retorts, shoving Donghyuck further into the couch.

Donghyuck narrows his eyes at him- he doesn’t miss Jeno’s reference to Jaemin taking their entire sophomore year off after sustaining a leg injury so devastating, it took doctors to help him walk again. But looking at Jaemin now, nothing about him gives it away, aside from a long scar running up his left leg- one that he either hides using baggy pants or flaunts wearing shorts.

Sophomore year was probably the worst year of his and Jaemin’s life- but mostly Jaemin’s. Jeno doesn’t really remember much, but he does remember the crushing feeling of missing something, the way the they never really felt right without Jaemin. Like a phantom limb, Jeno’s read of before.  
  
He remembers the countless all nighters spent keeping Jaemin company on the phone and in real life while he lived full time in a physical therapy center, listening to him cry over missing the comfort of home, over potentially never playing soccer again, to crying over being able to walk again towards the end of their sophomore year. His GPA took a dive, sure, but knowing that he could give Jaemin even the smallest bit of happiness was worth it.  
  
What Jeno remembers the most though, is showing up to the first day of junior year and finding Jaemin there, white hoodie and blinding smile still the same. His homecoming should’ve felt at least a bit awkward, fitting into a group that’s grown in the year since he left, but it didn’t. Jaemin is exactly how Jeno remembers him, down to the flowery detergent used on his hoodie. But it’s more at the same time- more, because one thing that wasn’t there before is how Jaemin always snaps back to Jeno, how much closer the are.  
  
Whatever it is, it feels right- he feels right, and that’s when Jeno realizes that he probably likes his best friend, a lot.

“What’s wrong, too scared?” Donghyuck bites back in present reality.

Jeno- or at least, the sober part of Jeno- really doesn’t want to entertain Donghyuck, doesn’t even want to _think_ about Donghyuck’s proposal. Come to think of it, he really doesn’t want to do anything right now but to let the alcohol in his bloodstream dissolve. Being drunk but not drunk enough is painful, unfortunately, Jeno doesn’t know his alcohol tolerance and would rather not find out tonight, lest he does something stupid- _like try to make out with Jaemin._

The drunk part of Jeno though, is another person entirely. Parts of him wonder what it would be like to confess to Jaemin, to either see the stars in his eyes light up and his lips on Jeno’s lips in response (unlikely) or to see Jaemin grimace inwardly, an awkward pat on the back and the words “Sorry Jeno, I just don’t like you in that way” fall out of his mouth (very likely). Sober Jeno knows this very well, and he isn’t willing to sacrifice his friendship just for a chance to figure out if Jaemin’s lips taste like the strawberry lip balm he uses. (It probably does).

“No, you’re just scared.” Jeno says in response, but It’s a weak retort and they both know it.  
  
Donghyuck snickers. 

“Aww. It’s cute that you’re too scared to man up to your feelings.” He says while pinching Jeno’s cheeks. Jeno swats him away.  
  
“This was a mistake. I should’ve never gotten drunk. Actually, I should’ve never talked to you on the first day of fifth grade.” Jeno bemoans in agony. He wants to slam his head against something, preferably a cold hard concrete wall so he can knock the fuck _out_.

 “We’ve been friends since the fifth grade? Interesting, I didn’t know that.”

Jeno desperately wants to introduce his head to a concrete wall. Donghyuck’s voice is getting more and more annoying, his pitch getting higher and tinny as he gets progressively drunk on what’s probably half sangria half vodka, which means it’s probably three parts of vodka to a single part of sugar water. This isn’t going to end well, and Jeno knows because Donghyuck has called him on the phone before with the voice of Alvin from the Chipmunks, asking for a ride home.

“But please.” Donghyuck jumps into Jeno’s lap. He goes to shove him away but this time, Donghyuck doesn’t octopus. “Help me make out with Mark. You don’t have to do it, _I mean you really should because you’re a wuss and I do not want to spend my senior year watching you helplessly pin over a boy_ , but if Mark asks, the bet is real.”

There’s a tone in Donghyuck’s voice that suggests that maybe, this is deeper than Jeno expected. It would be like Donghyuck to resolve his deepest emotional issues with bets, so. There’s also the fact that Jeno- everyone, really- always manages to somehow cave in to Donghyuck.

“You’re the wuss if you’re using me as an easy out,” Jeno scoffs in return, “but I do want to confess to him, Donghyuck, I really do. But you know he doesn’t like me like that.”  
  
Donghyuck gives him a disapproving glare. 

“You’re the biggest idiot I’ve ever known and _I want to make out with Mark_.” Donghyuck whispers conspiratorially, rolling his eyes. “Mark, who thought the moon landing was fake and wendigos exist- also, I’d ask if you’ve seen the way Jaemin looks at you, but since you’re fucking blind, I guess not.”

Jeno suddenly feels self conscious. It’s funny, how Donghyuck is echoing his words from earlier when he commented over how in love Mark looked at him. They’re both dumb, he guesses.  
Also, his heart is completely racing because of Donghyuck’s words, and now he wants to revisit every single time Jaemin’s ever looked at him and dissect it piece by piece to ask if anything in those eyes meant more. They probably don’t.

That’s the harsh reality he reminds himself of, and Jeno’s mood nosedives pathetically.  
  
“He doesn’t look at me in that way.” He mumbles.

Donghyuck scoffs again, all for theatre as he rolls his eyes and mutters something about idiots under his breath.

“Jeno, he literally looks as you as if you hung up the fucking moon every night.”

Hope spreads in his chest, but Jeno is quick to eviscerate any and all feelings. Like, hitting them with a baseball before hacking at them with an axe and passing them through a grinder. Even so, he lets himself imagine a world where Jaemin does look at him like that, and it makes him melt. But still.

“Don’t- don’t make me think that. That’s not true. You don’t know how he feels.” 

Jeno’s voice is small and tiny now but Donghyuck’s resulting grin is wide and predatory and it just makes him wish that sometimes, his friend could give him a break. But Donghyuck is Donghyuck and his grin reminds Jeno of a cheetah in a documentary he saw during Science, just before it lept onto a zebra and mauled it to pieces.

“Then I guess the only way to find out is to kiss him, right?”

Jeno wants to smash his head against a cement wall, or even a cement floor, desperately, because as much as Donghyuck is wrong about Jaemin and about the way he looks at him, he’s very much right about how the only to find out, or at least confirm that Jaemin doesn’t like him is to kiss him. So what Jeno is trying to say is, Donghyuck is making sense. Usually, that’s when something goes wrong.  
  
Maybe the bathroom times are hard enough to bang his head against.

“Seriously, _shut up._ ” Jeno moans in agony.

“Try me, bitch.” Donghyuck hits back.

He sips his sangria hoping it’ll drown Donghyuck out enough for his brain to realize that Donghyuck is wrong and nothing is going to happen tonight, and that he’ll fall asleep in Renjun’s room probably. Instead, it goes straight to his head and makes the decision for him. After this, he swears he’s taking a vow to never drink again, ever. 

“Fine, but the prize is a hot dog because we’re broke high school students, Donghyuck.” Jeno mutters. The full impact of his statement doesn’t hit him until he finishes his sentence and wow, Jeno can’t believe his subconscious would betray him like that. Making a bet with Donghyuck to make out with Jaemin?  
  
Naturally, Donghyuck takes it and fucking runs. He springs up like he’s been injected with a new life and calls out behind him, “Hurry the fuck up Cinderella! I don’t like pickles in my hot dog!” leaving Jeno upright on the couch and wondering what the fuck he just agreed to.

 

 

 

 

The sad part is, Jeno actually is considering the bet even though all signs and sources point to not making out with Jaemin as the smarter idea 

It takes three minutes for Jeno after Donghyuck leaves to decide that the best way to ( _if he decides to_ ) make out with his best friend is to get (even more) hilariously drunk, liquid courage and all. This is the most alcohol he’s ever had at once, and of course it takes his last day of junior year to go all out and get hammered. His parents would be disappointed. Thankfully all of his peers are too hammered to realize good boy Jeno is hilariously drunk right now, so- there’s still a chance for him in heaven instead of the place Donghyuck crawled out of.  
  
Jeno makes his way to the refreshments area in the kitchen where the sangria is just as sweet as his first cup, the burn of the vodka diffused down to a pleasant buzz by the kool-aid and various fruits. Aside from the sangria (which he really, really likes but he swears he’s never touching again) Jeno thinks he hasn’t really missed out on drinking at parties. If anything, maybe it’s a good thing he doesn’t drink at parties.

Right now, he wants to kiss Jaemin, like really badly, because of course the alcohol amplifies his feelings. 

Jeno slumps underneath the kitchen island where there’s a space for him to bring his knees up almost instinctively. Donghyuck’s asked him before if his feelings for Jaemin really were romantic or if they were platonic- brought about by Jaemin’s inability to keep boundaries with absolutely everyone. Jeno wasn’t so sure then, after the accident- after everything, he’s confident now.  
  
The act of falling in love with your best friend is still pretty fucking cliche, though, and sometimes- Jeno just wants to bang his head against a cement wall for falling in love with someone who won’t ever reciprocate his feelings and having another, rather, asshole of a best friend who likes to rub it in too.

 

He rests his head against the cool granite, closes his eyes and lets the cold tame the beginnings of a headache that are bound to appear in full force tomorrow.

If anyone were to ever ask Jeno what about Jaemin turned him into a sad coming of age movie, Jeno would probably think of his smile first. Jeno’s always thinking of his smile, of the way it shines especially when it’s trained on him. He’s not like that usually- he’s not really one for physical attributes over personality. But Jaemin’s smile is a big part of his personality.  
  
He’s an extrovert who has the ability to make everyone feel special and Jeno truly does hate it sometimes, because he finds himself asking if it’s just typical Jaemin culture or god forbid, Jaemin flirting with him. To the sound of his hopes falling, it’s always the former. 

The peace doesn’t last very long. Someone bumps into him trying to cross the kitchen, and they decide that Jeno looks really out of it and needs a drink. Of course it’s another sangria that Jeno refuses because two drinks in and he’s absolutely hammered and red, and oh- this must be what the pinnacle of alcohol saturation feels like for him.

Jeno cries a bit.

A tear streams down his face when all the feelings hit him at once and really, what’s so fun about drinking? Jeno is a sad drunk, as he suspected.

He loves Jaemin, he really does. But he doesn’t want to admit his feelings to his best friend and living with what’s probably going to be a weird tension for the rest of his life before they completely drift away in his third year of college, never talking and only seeing each other again at their 25th high school reunion where the both of them will pretend to not know each other, or something like that.

The thing about Jeno is, he loves Jaemin so much he doesn’t know which is more painful- having Jaemin by his side but as a friend, or not having Jaemin at all.

Normally, this is where the main character realizes he loves his best friend enough to want to see them be happy, to be in their presence even if it means never admitting their feelings or living with rejection, but. Jeno’s not like that. Jeno’s selfish enough to _want_ .  
  
He’d rather have it all or not have it anyways.

So. Jeno should probably make a decision now. The logical decision is to park his ass here or in Renjun’s bedroom where he can crash and wake up in the morning, having done nothing, only to stop talking to Jaemin in four years, or something. At least that’s four more years over option B, which is finding Jaemin, pressing his lips to his for all of 0.2 seconds that it takes for Jaemin’s instincts to shove him away, end their friendship right then and there, split their friend group irreparably, and see each other in 26 years and not talk about it.

And honestly? Maybe Donghyuck is right. Maybe he is a wuss. What’s four years to him anyways? Agony and pain before the eventual break? That’s when Jeno decides to choose option B, right then and there under the kitchen table. He’s going to find Jaemin, kiss him for less then a second, and be done with it and hopefully move on from him. He’s going to do it. Jeno is actually going to find Jaemin, he’s going to kiss him, and then he’s going to spend the rest of his years wondering if it was the right choice.

Naturally, with all this procrastination, Jaemin comes to him first.

“Na, are you okay?” He says, looking down at Jeno with a cup in his hand and an amused smile and Jeno is so, _so_ , far gone. 

“I was looking for you.” Jaemin says softly as he settles comfortably next to Jeno. Their knees bump painfully and Jaemin’s drink sloshes a bit but they make it work. “Donghyuck was yelling so I figured he did something to you.” 

This draws a chuckle from Jeno, otherwise currently in the deep pits of hell over being this close to Jaemin and what he’s going to do and- Jeno would really like to do nothing at all. But somehow, it doesn’t feel like an option right now.  
  
“No he just- he just made a stupid bet. It’s nothing.” Jeno responds meekly, taking a sip of his sangria hoping he forgets about it.

Instead, Jaemin laughs and asks, ‘Wow, when did you start drinking?”

“In fairness, you never told me sangria was this good.”

Jaemin raises his perfect eyebrows. “You’re drinking the sangria? You do realize it’s been mixed with the 56% vodka Winwin got during his trip to Ukraine, right? Do you need water, Jaem?”

Jeno’s heart leaps to his throat at his offer. God, he really hates alcohol for magnifying everything, especially his feelings. He’s so hyper aware of Jaemin’s calming hand on his back, how close he is trying to talk over the noise of the party, of the silly nickname he’d made for Jeno during freshman year, and most importantly, of the fact that what he feels for Jeno might be the closest thing to love.

He’s so screwed, so, so screwed. 

So much so that there’s no way possible he’s going to make it out from the kitchen table alive, much less senior year. Jeno then decides that the best possible course of action is of course, to end his friend with Jaemin of 8 years. Right here, right now.

“I don’t think I can be your friend anymore.” Jeno suddenly says, staring straight down at his cup. It’s funny how everything suddenly changes. The music, he swears, freezes for a second.

Jaemin’s hands freeze on his back, withdrawing slightly before withdrawing all together completely. Jeno is hit with a pang of misery.

“Okay,” Jaemin draws out in obvious confusion, “What do you mean?” His voice is shaky but Jeno thinks that maybe, he’s just imagining it. Still, it rips Jeno to pieces.

“I…” Jeno trails off, figuring what to say to make it a clean, swift break. He chooses the words he figures he’d never want to hear from Jaemin’s mouth. “I just can’t be your friend anymore. You’re a- you’re a burden to me.”

Jaemin stiffens next to him. Jeno regrets.

The party continues.

One moment, Jaemin is composed but stone-faced. The next moment, he mumbles about not being able to do it here and gets up from the table, dragging Jeno with him to the nearest room. Jeno is lost. The door clicks shut behind them before he even realizes where he is, and Jaemin starts feeling the wall for the light switch until the room is bathed in light and shit- Jaemin’s eyes are red already.

Jaemin tenderly grips Jeno’s shoulders, almost leaning on him. 

“What, what do you mean, Jeno?” His voice comes out in a whisper. Jeno flinches.

“I said what I said.” is what Jeno settles on, because he knows he doesn’t have the heart to say those words again.

“What. Do. You. Mean.” This time, Jaemin drops his hands from Jeno’s shoulders, taking the warmth with him as well. This time, Jaemin’s words are punctuated with small bursts of an anger Jeno has never seen before

“I said what I-”

“ _No. "_  

Jeno is cut off by Jaemin who speaks with too much ferocity for someone who looks like he’s on the verge of breaking down, and Jeno hates that he’s selfish enough to do this to Jaemin. He wants to live in a world where they can still be friends even if it means Jeno’s heart being broken everyday but he knows he can’t.  
  
“ _You don’t_ \- where is this even coming from, Jeno? _What the Hell!_ ” Jaemin’s voice raises to the point where Jeno’s sure some people have heard him already.

“I- I can’t, Nana, _I can’t_!” 

Jeno just wants to make him understand- hopes he can understand. His voice matches Jaemin’s already. He shakes his head.

“Jaemin, I swear to _god_ I’m so in love with you and _I know you aren’t_ and I’m sorry, because I’m too _selfish_ -” Jeno is wailing at this point, practically- and his voice is getting thicker and thicker until it cracks. He stifles a snob, but he knows he has to keep going.

Jaemin interrupts him.

“Wait, what?” He asks in a small voice. Jeno wants to cry. Can’t he see how much it’s killing Jeno?

“Jaemin,” Jeno breaths out, “I swear to god I love you so much and I know you don’t love me back that way and that’s _fine_ , but we can’t be friends- I can’t be-”

Jaemin’s mouth quaverss. “Say that again, Jeno.”

“I love you. I know you don’t love me, you don’t have to-” Jeno is so, _so_ tired of explaning, and so, _so_ tired of being here right now. He wants to crawl into his bed and sleep for a thousand years instead of trying to sever his relationship with his best friend in one night.

Instead of recoiling or any of the 1924 possible responses, Jaemin just gives him a weak chuckle.

“You love me?” He asks in a small voice and it’s taking all of Jeno to not do something stupid. Jeno swallows before responding.

“Yes, I do-" 

He doesn’t get to finish the sentences. All of a sudden, Jaemin’s arms are wrapped tightly around his middle as he’s gently pressed to the back of the wall. He feels his shoulder getting wet at Jaemin buries his face there, crying.

Jeno is blindsided. His hands come up around Jaemin’s back by pure muscle memory alone, but otherwise, he’s staring straight into the distance.

“I was so scared,” Jaemin begins, muffled by his neck. He looks up eventually and Jeno distantly realizes how close they are, how if he leans forward by an inch, it’s enough to kiss him. At this distance, Jeno can clearly see Jaemin’s moisturized lips and the faint smell of something strawberry and alcohol.  
  
“I thought I did something wrong, I thought you figured out that I loved you and that you- you didn’t want to be near me, that you thought I was _weird_ -" 

Jaemin punctates his rant with a sob he stifles into Jeno’s neck, who’s currently not breathing much less living. 

“Jeno?” Jaemin asks, hope evident in his voice, “Please say something.”

“Wait, you.. love me?” He asks unconfidently, as if the world isn’t tearing itself down into pieces and rebuilding itself back up right now.

Jaemin chuckles weakly from where his arms are wrapped around his waist. “I do. So much.”

“You don’t hate me?” 

Jaemin shakes his head. “How could you think I’d ever hate you, Jeno, _I love you._ ”

The world shifts, and rights itself. His vision clears, the colors are sharper now- vivid and whole because Jeno knows he’s not dreaming. His hands come up from his sides to frame Jaemin’s face. Jeno watches as Jaemin automatically relaxes in the palm of his hand. He swallows and musters up the courage for what he’s going to do next. Donghyuck is wrong. Jeno totally isn’t a wuss when it mattered.

“Can I kiss you?” He asks in a small, small voice.

Jaemin nods, his grip tightening on Jeno’s waist. 

“Good.” Jeno says, and leans in to close the inch gap. 

Jaemin’s lips ends up tasting like strawberries, alcohol, and that’s fine because by the end of the night, Jeno’s lips taste the same too.

“So. Anything to tell us?” Jisung sneers two weeks later as he takes in the sight of Jaemin feeding Jeno french fries. Mark is coming to meet them later after dropping off his belongings in the dorm room, so for now, Donghyuck is a grouchy pain in the ass. It’s the last summer hangout before Renjun goes to France and Chenle goes back to China for the month and Jisung himself is going to Busan while Donghyuck and his family take a two week vacation in Jeju island. In summary, it’s their last day hanging out as the seven of them before Mark is inevitably swallowed by first year college, Donghyuck, Renjun, Jeno, and Jaemin are consumed by senior year, and Chenle and Jisung go into the dreaded junior year.

Jisung knows he’s the baby of the group but he knows things that’ll make them curl- he’s 17, for crying out loud. He doesn’t understand why there’s all this tiptoeing around Chenle and him about the relationships that have obviously formed since Winwin’s house party that the two of them were obviously barred from. 

He wonders if maybe he should reveal Chenle and his’ relationship, but decides now is not the time to reveal his power move. Honestly, Jisung is patting himself on the back over how he and Chenle got together. One thing he has over his hyungs is that it didn’t take a ridiculously long sob story and alcohol to ask each other out. (Sure, Jisung choreographed an entire dance for Chenle during freshman year, but whatever.)

Donghyuck leans forward and smiles a bright smile. Jeno turns to kiss Jaemin from where Jisung can see- and, he turns a little green.

“Nothing at all, Jisungie. Now shut up and finish your damn fries.”


End file.
